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Last year I began a business from my home, and have been having a considerable amount of success. Since starting this business, I’ve been spending a lot of time with very positive people. I’ve also been reading a lot of "self-improvement" type books and can notice a considerable change in my attitude. I no longer see myself as a "victim" of my circumstances, and have tried to show my friends that they no longer need to be victims either. It seems they are more comfortable constantly complaining about how things are rather than doing anything about it. I’m finding it very challenging to spend time with them.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? - Feeling sad for my friends

Dear Feeling Sad:
First of all, I want to acknowledge you for getting out of the "victim" mode. It’s extremely easy to stay there, particularly when a lot of people around you have a negative mindset. It sounds as if you’ve found a group of positive people who are encouraging you to reach your own full potential, and now you have some choices to make.

It would be very easy for you to shrink back because of how your friends are reacting to you, but I encourage you to go forward. Commiserating on a regular basis without doing anything to change it is a total waste of time. It may be that after a while some of your friends actually come around. Maybe they’re just testing you to see if you’re really serious. The fact that you’re doing something to change your situation may eventually pave the way for them to do the same.

I suggest that you maintain your friendships, let them know you love them, but don’t give in to the "victim" mentality. When they present you with their "hopeless" situation, gently explain that there is another way of looking at it and that they can do something about it. Time will take its course, and you’ll either very naturally end up spending less time with those friends, or they may decide to join your "crusade".

You’ve chosen the right path. Don’t let the comfort of mediocrity hold you back.

Dear Mary Jo:
I’m so frustrated. My husband and I both work full time jobs, but we’re still always struggling to make ends meet. I’d really like to start a home-based business so I can stay home with my two young children, but most things I’ve looked into require some type of up-front money. It seems impossible for us to think of that. What can I do? - Financially challenged in New Mexico

Dear Financially Challenged:
I get this question all the time, and I know it’s not easy. Actually, I was in the same position when I started my first home-based business four and a half years ago.

You’re right, most businesses do require a little money to get started - and "a little money" may seem like a lot to you right now. Although I don’t know your personal situation, here are a few things you can think about.

A great place to start would be to really imagine what it would be like if you could stay home with your children. If that "picture" is appealing enough to you, particularly if there’s some emotion involved when you think of it, you’d be surprised what creative solution(s) you come up with. In other words, "where there’s a will, there’s a way".

I’ve met and worked with people who were completely "broke" and borrowed money from a relative or friend. There were some who did a little baby-sitting or other odd job to get some quick money. I’ve also talked to a few who had yard sales and made enough money to cover their initial investment. Maybe you could sacrifice something for a short period of time. You’d be surprised how much money you can save by not going to fast-food restaurants, subscribing to cable TV, etc.

If you’re currently spending money on childcare, take a very close look at how much you’re actually earning after all your extra expenses are paid. For many moms, by the time they add up all they are spending on childcare, automotive expenses, food they "grab" on the run because they don’t have time to cook, the costs involved with dressing professionally, occasional lunches, etc., it’s not uncommon that they end up earning only $1 an hour or so! I know it may sound ridiculous, but you won’t know unless you figure it out yourself. If that’s the case, you could stay home and figure out a way to earn an extra $40 a week and you’d be at the exact same place financially - but you’d be home with your children!

Once again, if your desire to be home is strong enough, you’ll figure out a way. Nothing’s impossible! I seriously encourage you to spend some quiet time all by yourself and think about what it would be like if you were home with your children. Imagine it in vivid detail. What would you be doing if you didn’t need to go to work? Would there be lots of love, hugs and laughter? Really get into it! If you do, and what you imagine brings you joy and strong emotion, you may "get" the perfect solution immediately! (Funny thing is that the answer was there the whole time, you just didn’t see it before!)

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you carefully check out the business opportunity before proceeding. There are lots of "scams" and "get rich schemes" out there. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is, so stay clear and don’t waste your money.

I hope this helps. From a person who was in the same situation and has come out on the other side, I strongly encourage you to go after your dreams. Don’t let a little up-front investment get in the way of you being the mom you really want to be. I know you can do it if you want it bad enough!

For additional information on the programs Mary Jo offers and to learn why someone might decide to hire their own personal coach, check out her website at VirtualSuccessCoach.com or send her e-mail at MaryJo@CreativeCoachingSolutions.com